One of the hardest things with dating is finding someone who’s consistent. I often run across the saying “If he wanted to, he would” and now it all makes sense.

A man will only put in time with a woman he interested in, if the consistency stops with you… it’s with someone else. In no form of way I’m trying to bash men, but this is to help women be aware when it comes to situations like this.

I ran across someone I found great interest in however once things begin to fade I began to question myself. Sometimes we as women tend to believe it’s us when in reality it’s not. Just understand that maybe you’re not for them & they’re not for you.

We must learn to let things go instead of furthering things that eventually will drain us of our peace. No person is ever too busy to make time for someone they’re pursuing. When the excuses get to flowing in, the time starts to fade, your mind gets to wondering it’s time to break lose.

A quick tip for singles while dating:

Don’t settle for being an option! You are worth more than being someone’s down time. Have respect for yourself and your body, don’t allow everyone to have access. Be picky with you. Have faith that one day the right person will come along. Never lose hope, anything you desire will be granted when the time is RIGHT!

Although things seem fine for everyone else you’re the one hurting, crying, missing a piece that was valuable to you. I know the feeling I myself lost my Father on November 24, 2011 which fell on Thanksgiving day. Just to arrive to the hospital room and head straight to the consultation room and doctors say “we’ve done all we can.”

Can you imagine how I felt? 8 months pregnant! My heart raced, for a min I thought God let me down I even questioned him and asked God why?

Truth is we do not quite understand why we face trial and error however a mistake we make is trying to figure out why instead of realizing that’s an area that’s already planned out it’s all in the works.

I may have a solution for you. Do you know why we go through pain? I can explain it. I have came to realization that we need pain in order to grow. Pain pushes you to your fullest potential. Here’s an example think of a breakup, everything you do after that is what we call a glow up! Like you’re working so hard to perfect yourself so the one who mistreated you witness your success.

Well death of a love one is quite the same, think of it when your love one pass away, we dedicate everything to them. The strive I had came from the pain I faced over the years. Yes I’ve been broken, yes I’ve been mistreated, yes I’ve been lied on, yes! Yes! Yes!

Moral of the story: If it wasn’t for pain, we wouldn’t push ourselves. I think of it as no struggle, no push. So while you’re coping and not quite understanding know that every tear has a reward. Every ounce of pain you’re facing will be replaced with the joys of life. One day you’ll see you needed to go through the pain to reach the new level in your life.

I pray you take this moment and be thankful for what’s to come! “The pain you’ve faced won’t compare to the joy you’ll feel soon.” Praying for strength over you today & every other day that’s ahead. Take time & enjoy family & great food.

Happy Thanksgiving family & friends 🦃

-C.Dillard

Here in this single season I’ve sat alone and seems as if every man that comes across me I’m just another option standing in line yelling “Pick Me!” You know the feeling of knowing the answer with your hand held high wanting the teacher to call on you? That’s me!

Why is it that men aren’t consistent? Why is it that men don’t communicate or show their emotions? Why is it that men lie? I desire to learn from a man, someone who’s willing to guide me and teach me new things however the men I attract are husbands, boyfriends, and prisoners. I leave them right in my inbox (laughing).

I’m so tough when it comes to dating there’s this guard up I place as soon as I feel a connection so usually I step aside “fall back” to protect me. Truth is men will say any and everything to keep me but when it come to their actions *thumbs down* they’re horrible. So I try to play my part by not getting high hopes, I usually feed off the energy given.

I’m a woman that’s selfish I’m not to fond of sharing I want my own person, my own Man! The good thing about me throughout my singleness I’ve had time to observe me & learn me, let’s just say I’m far from perfect. I’m aware of things I need to change within myself but it’s been kind of cool identifying flaws and working towards a better lifestyle.

Although it sucks I embrace every single woman to not fall for a number in line. The right man will lead you out and focus solely on you. I’m talking time, love, affection, and attention. (Notice I said nothing about money) Here’s my thought as a woman when you work hard what a man brings is a plus but his money is not for us to rely on. If you have a hustle within yourself anything he brings is a bonus.

I will not spend my years just being “The Go To” or “The Spare Time.” In this stage I’m saying my goodbye to the times I jumped up wanting to be called and hello to the now. Somewhere there’s a man who’s going to acknowledge me, lead me, and make me his top priority.

It’s possible, LOVE is out there, remember you’ll never have to force or beg anything that’s for you!

Deciding to start a new business can be hectic or better yet the feeling of who would support you can be heavy on the mind as well.

I decided to start a new cosmetic business with nothing to my name but faith. I know it sound crazy but FAITH lead me to get up and get at it.

I was laying in my bed and I received a vision and instantly I thought “who would support me?” God instilled into me if I go for it the rest would align itself so here I am today owner of “Beaudee’ by Courtney.”

Life would try to paralyze you if you do not get up and go after what you want. I’m just starting off and I don’t quite have everything I need but Philippians 4:19 assures me of my supplier. I see several women with their business running smooth and successful, I smile knowing that one day I will be there.

When you’re running a business be patient, take your time, don’t look at others and lose hope into what you’ve put in. Hard work pays off eventually, you have to go for what you want. You can be anybody and do anything you want if YOU believe you can achieve and accomplish.

I’ve realized running a business you are your worst critic, speak life and affirm greatest over your business. You will prosper throughout it all.

I tell myself all the time just imagine years from now and where I’d be, not only myself but your business. I’m speaking sale increases, more customers, more products, more visions, new outlooks into the business world.

2 Chronicles 15:7

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”

Just as well as I’m aiming to make it you can too! Be patient, keep positive outlook, be prepared at all the enemy will attempt to throw. You got this we got this. Keep going! Don’t lose hope in yourself!

So maybe you’re stressed you don’t know how or when. You’re worrying and this certain situation is taking control over your mind. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God… so when things get tough should we panick? No! Step back, open your eyes, and acknowledge who God is and what he’s capable of doing. Be patient, be still, and let God go to work.

Remember: ‼️It may be dark going through but there’s light near the end of the tunnel‼️

During your single stage do you prepare or expect? A lot of times we expect. We expect a good man/woman to just appear, we expect him/her to be all that we desire, but do we prepare? Do you take time to heal from past trauma? Also can you provide in return the things you ask of in a significant other? It’s so easy for us to state our needs in a person but when it all boils down can we match in return the things we ask? You want a stable mate? Are you stable? You want a loving mate? Are you a loving person? You want a consistent mate? Are you consistent? Just saying make sure you have things aligned while you’re in the waiting season. Pray and be specific in prayer!

Surely the things we ask for God provides. There is no instance that we should have doubt in anything we ask. So maybe you’ve been waiting long and see no push to continue to wait let’s take a look into the Story of Abraham and Sarah. This couple was elderly Sarah was 89 years old, Abraham was 99 years old. They wanted of God life and prosperity. Just years ago God promised this family children and a place of their own. Now we’re looking at their ages thinking that it’s impossible for Sarah to even bare a child but that’s exactly how God works, he does the impossible. The promise is now unnoticeable to the couple but yet God remained in his promise for the two. Eventually in the story the two conceived after waiting 25 years.

Do you have the courage to wait on the promises or have you given up? I want to inform you that God has a plan so big for you, it’s going to be breathtaking. When we accept the wait period, we trust in God’s will. It will take time, it will take patience. The waiting phase is the hardest to do. But in those moments we must PREPARE! Set your mind on things that brings positivity, laugh more, study his word more, surround yourself by love, save more, eat healthy. I assure you God’s promises will take time and require sacrifice, if we take our hands off the wheel and let God steer our direction we’ll be in for great rewards.

Why do people hurt us with the intent of no apology? We’re left lingering the hurt on the inside while they have moved on living happily ever after. Why is it that good people are the ones to get walked over? Why can’t we just live life with the fulfillment of being loved and receiving it in return? When you’re hurt it’s hard to forgive which causes the unforgiveness to eventually turn into bitterness or resentment. If left unrecognized forgiveness eventually paralyzes the heart and our ability to love, live, and be loved.

Ask yourself this question. Am I ready to let go of the past? Do I want a peace of mind? Do I want to continue harboring unforgiveness? Let me say this firstly, forgiveness does not mean pick up where you left off or the friendships will instantly mend. The sign of forgiveness is showing the compassionate heart that God desires of us. God understands there are times where reconciling may not be the best choice if the opponent is not ready to accept. Instead let the Holy Spirit led you. Another factor which may cause you to not initiate forgiveness is Pride. Maybe you feel as if it is unfair. You’re thinking they hurt you, why be so easy and let them off the hook. You want them to suffer right? What if God wasn’t forgiven and made us suffer? What if we turned to him and he neglect us? God does not use “fairness logic.” We should be thankful, at times we are unworthy of his love but yet he still finds favor in us.

God has paid for our sins to be forgiven through his son Jesus. So we must forgive as Christ has forgiven us.

God desires obedience out of us and he will clean us up as pure and protect us. I want to ensure you to be in compliance of God’s word and he will surely look after you. God is forgiveness, you don’t fully understand the sacrifices he’s made. God did not allow his son to suffer for us to hold grudges towards one another.

The enemy lures our mind into building hatred towards one another but people are not our enemy, Satan is! It is his job to attempt to control your mind into forming dislike towards someone, sometimes you don’t even know a person but hate them. The enemy creates silent enemies as well. The more the enemy forms this envy unto our hearts, the stronger the hold we have of forgiving. It is not possible to call yourself a child of God but hate God’s children. We are sisters and brothers. People who were are created by him. So let’s focus on setting our hearts on the level of kindness God wants us to display.

Where exactly will unforgiveness get you? Do you know it’s possible things we hold on to blocks us from reaping the goodness in store? Jesus told Peter he needed to forgive 490 times. That’s a lot right? No way that’s possible. Jesus purpose was that everyone who wronged you, you should FORGIVE!

I know you do not want to feel weak but in all honesty forgiving is the strongest power we gain. It’s a sign of strength that empowers us to live in regret. To be able to look at someone who has hurt you and forgive them is solely excepting the life Christ has to offer. Jesus knew his oppressors were blinded by hate but he chose to view their actions with a heavenly perspective.

Before you leave this place try to make things right with those who have neglected or wronged you. Pray for those who have offended you, bless those who have offended you, and do good to people who have offended you. Remember the enemy loves to remind us of our mistakes but it is us who will control how we handle decisions we have made in the past. If you want a better live, receive forgiveness by faith. Defeat every lie with the truth of God. So ask yourself am I ready to move (forgive) or be stuck at a stand still (unforgiveness).

Remember THE FORGIVEN FORGIVES! I hope this helps you to overcome anything you may be holding over anyone. It’s not easy but life gets easier once you lift the things you carry that you can not manage…

I’m patient but yet left wondering when will you come. I watch friends get engaged or friends find love but yet my heart remains empty. Although I find love in Christ, I dream of having a mate. I want a companion, a motivator, a soul mate. I pray I talk to God but yet Love is still at a standstill. Have I ran across my mate? Maybe the time wasn’t right or maybe he’s just unprepared. I know you feel the same as me you’re wondering where is the man who’ll save my heart that’s been bruised by men of no meaning. I want to encourage you to not lose the hope, one day this will all be a memory.

I’ve learned to embrace my singleness and build my faith in God. God wants my heart before I give it to anyone else. He’s the header he’s the King, the only way this man will be able to find you is strictly through God. While you wait talk to God, prepare yourself for this man in the meantime. Be sure of the things you ask for in a mate you can also provide. Don’t settle for anything that brings harm to your spirit. Love brings peace, so if it pains you, Let It Go!

The longer you wait the more you value self, the more you learn yourself. Some of us hold on to past insecurities that we block love when it arrives. I think God wants us to fully focus on him and get things in order before we receive what’s in store. Sometimes I watch people around me find love soon as they get out of a relationship and then there’s me, like God I’m ready but God still blocks because he knows deep down we’re no where near prepared. Here’s my prayer for you, may we continue to seek his will and never lose faith in what’s to come.

God I thank you for giving me understanding into your word. God keep me on the path you’ve called me to walk on. Forgive me for the things you may not agree of and make my heart to be more worthy of your love. God when I don’t receive the things I expect help me to see it’s all of your plan, it’s your protection that blocks the things I once desired. God give me direction and guide me through the unseen. I pray for my mate Lord may our hearts find favor in one another. As long as it takes I’ll wait on you, i trust your plan for my life Lord. I honor you in Jesus name. Amen!

Love will come, don’t settle for anything that doesn’t feel of God. Remember love is peace not pain.

You doubt yourself, you worry why and how. You no longer put up the fight somehow you tend to let Satan get the best of you. You let disappointments win you over, you see no way on how you’ll make it through. I get it I have been there.

Today I’m here to tell you that YOU HAVE POTENTIAL! In life I find that all we need is encouragement, we need uplifting, we need reassurance. As I read (Proverbs 3:26) it indicates “the Lord is our security (our protector) he will keep our foot from being caught in a trap.” This scripture gives us the answer we need to move further in life.

Our biggest fear is going forward being afraid we will get stuck but here it tells us as bright as day he will protect us and keep us from being jammed. There is no reason to hesitate or doubt anything in life with God on our side paving the sidewalk smooth to keep us from stumbling.

Do not hold yourself back from doing what God has called you to do because of self doubt. As soon as you step out God will pull things out of you that you had no idea you were capable of doing.

This is a woman of gratitude, no where laziness transpired. She did not procrastinate neither did she give in. The Proverbs woman is a fearfully made woman. So ask yourself what are the similarities? How does this woman differ from who I am? Am I the procrastinator or the go-getter I know I’m capable of being? My advice to you is to not hold yourself back any longer from accomplishing what is meant for you in life. Do not be afraid to believe in yourself and step out into new beginnings. Let God reveal your true identity & live in that moment. You have potential to be who you want to be. It starts with you! You are powerful and created for a divine purpose.