God & Therapy

Attending that church service as I normally do and never knowing the flow of service just happy to be in the atmosphere and be in God’s presence. It was after worship they switched things up and up front there was a cross with a table in front.

On that table there were pins to attach index cards as we write some things down to place at the cross. A broken woman I was knowing this was my time I walked to the front ready to let go of it all.

There as I stood writing down everything I could think of the past traumas, anger, resentment, abandonment, self doubt, unforgiveness & etc… I cried ready to release and I told myself I’m ready I then pinned my card and told God I give it all to you.

1 Peter 5:7 NLT

“ Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

In this verse it’s plain and clear that’s exactly what God wants of us to place every and anything at his feet. He’s letting us know he’ll handle it all. Immediately you lay those worries before God, they are no more your responsibilities.

After 7 years of being single and what I thought was healed made me realize I wasn’t and to be honest I then heard it from someone else of the work that I needed to do within myself so on Feb 2nd I found a therapist to guide me along this process.

There were times I would get angry and think of the times I was choked or the nails that was pressed into my skin which left me bruised. The times I heard I was fat and I wasn’t a good mother. It was those things that always carried me through thinking how could one treat me so cold. Maybe those words stuck with me every so often that I actually believed them about myself.

No one knew what I was battling I always pretend to be happy to avoid the question of being asked “what’s wrong?”

I always said to myself I don’t need therapy God is my therapist, as I humble myself and speak I can now speak and say therapy is the one keeping me together. I’ve never been able to release so much but feel so good about myself. I even feel the change within me.

Lately I’ve been feeling whole and now my reaction to certain things are different. I wanted to blog today to only let others know it’s okay to go through something but you must find a solution to let go of the enemies lie. If not you’ll only bring more damage to yourself and you’ll be living a lie as if I was.

I always thought I was happy but this is now my happy place. Although I still have more to work on within me, therapy is actually cool. You’re talking to someone who understands you and doesn’t judge your circumstances. This will truly help me as I continue to fulfill my purpose.

“Don’t let life pass you by staying stuck in that empty season …”

I want to be the best woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter, grand daughter, niece you name it. A healed woman I am, a healed woman I will be. You must help yourself to be better if not you’ll only receive a life of destruction and missed opportunities.

My message to you:

Do not let the words of others dictate how you view yourself. Do not let the words of others cause your value to decrease within yourself. Do not let the words of others cause you to want to bring harm amongst yourself. In life people will have their own opinion about you and well that’s just that, “THEIR” opinion! What are some things you can do to break that curse you’ve been believing? How can you bring the deepest level of happiness to yourself? I encourage you all to find ways to tap into your unique self and understand the true value you hold.

I realize when you’re happy in life the enemy will always try to shine light over your past and take you back down to that path of destruction. I certainly left the light on and forgot to hit the switch but not this go around I’m well prepared to know the tricks and schemes. As I hear often people say “Not Today Satan” I say it loud and clear. You will not defeat me, the switch is now off!

By Courtney Dillard

A woman fulfilling her purpose.


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